


Like a Bad Penny

by Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Heretic!Kai, Horror, Temporary Character Death, Vampire Xander Harris (BtVS), Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26612122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that/pseuds/Are_you_ever_not_going_to_fall_for_that
Summary: Xander runs into a vampire, that doesn't look like any vampire he's ever seen before on patrol.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Vampire Diaries.
> 
> A/N: Why is it when I try to make something short it doesn't end up that way? This was supposed to be short.

"What is it?" It looked like a vampire with the fangs but the black eyes with the red around the edges were not what vampires normally looked like. Although in the dark he looked even more like a vampire, especially with the way the guy was looking at him like Xander was a steak and he hadn't eaten in a while.

"It looks like a vampire," Xander said even though he didn't believe his own words.

"But it can't be a vampire." She said with a shake of her head. She was a slayer and he had grown up on a Hellmouth. They both knew that this wasn't how vampires looked. Xander gripped his stake tightly in his hand wishing that they hadn't gone off from the others. Way to use your downstairs brain, he grumbled inwardly. The being was walking towards Xander though a bit slow and the closer it got the more pale Xander noticed the being's skin was.

"What the hell is it?" Xander asked, though not really to his companion, even if his hand sought hers blindly, just long enough to confirm she was still there without having to remove his eye from whatever the creature was. He hadn't seen anything like it before and he had grown up a Hellmouth. It wasn't a normal demon. It looked too human with its short dark brown hair and black clothes, but vampire's eyes didn't do that. The being stopped a few feet from them and smiled. Honestly, that smile gave him the creeps. There was something vacant about it like it was missing something important.

"You have no idea how long it's been since I've been around people and that song, that song," The vampire-like being said with a laugh that sent chills down his spine. There was just something wrong about him. Something wrong that went beyond the weird face.

"I don't ever want to hear that song again!" he said, sounding more than slightly manic and stepped towards them again, causing Xander to take a few steps back pulling Joanne along with him. Normally, he didn't hide from creatures. Not anymore. He had years ago learned how to defend himself, despite only having one eye.

"I mean come on!" The vamp-like being shouted, still smiling that smile that gave him the creeps, "I hated that song and she made me listen to it over and over and over and over again!" The vampire-like being lost his smile and Xander took another unconscious step back. Somehow, without the smile, it was worse. The look in his eyes. It was like he was dead. Like he felt nothing or he thought Xander was nothing to him.

"I mean even your favorite song gets bor-ing," The vampire-like being said boring in a sing-song voice, "if you listen to it a lot and I already hated that song." The vampire-like thing spoke and Xander felt more than saw Joanne step slightly in front of him. Not enough to completely block his view but enough that she was covering him up a little.

Joanne was a slayer they had found in Seattle. She had been one of the oldest slayers of the new previous potentials. Apparently, she had decided that he needed protecting since he was doing a bang-up job on it. But still, everything about this was wrong and his instincts screamed at him to run away and drag Joanne behind him, even if he had to do it with her kicking and screaming.

But their duty was to protect people. He had made a choice long ago to protect people who didn't know enough, or couldn't protect themselves. Joanne's hand squeezed his and he supposed was meant to be comforting, but the wrongness of the being in front of him kept him from feeling anything resembling comfort.

"I'm sorry, if I'm talking a lot. I've been alone for a very long time. Unfortunately for you, I'm also very hungry." The vampire-like guy moved fast. Faster than he had before and faster than Xander had seen most things move before. Unfortunately, he seemed to be aimed towards Joanne and neither of them had been expecting his speed. Before Xander could move, the fangs in the vampire-like guy's mouth were digging roughly into Joanne's neck.

No. No. This couldn't be happening. Legs moving forward even as his mind struggled to accept it. Joanne was a good slayer, had taken to slaying like a fish to water. She had even had some self-defense classes as a kid so had a leg-up on some of the others. He moved to stake the vampire-like creature, only to find himself airborne, falling several feet backward. Air left his lungs as he impacted a tree harshly. Xander struggled to get himself and the pain under control, especially when he noticed that Joanne hadn't broken free and looked like her skin was getting paler.

"No!" left Xander's mouth as he got up again on his feet, to the protest of all his body parts, especially his head, that was starting to throb in unison with everything else. The woodland floor under him seemed like it was swimming, trying to knock him back down. He still gave lurching steps towards the two as fast as he could, trying his best to keep his lunch down. He couldn't help her if he was throwing up. He couldn't save her if he didn't get there soon. What if he couldn't save her? When Xander was halfway there, the vampire-like creature noticed him, smiled at him with blood in his teeth, and tossed Joanne to the side.

"You bastard!" Xander cried as he managed to keep his feet under him long enough to make it to her side. Her skin was very pale, especially close up and he couldn't see any movement.

Her platinum blond hair shimmered in the moonlight but blood lay all over her neck and tricked down into her light green jacket. He had to save her. He had to save her. He has to save-

"Well, would you look at that," The vampire, because after that, what else other than a vampire could it be? It must just be a different kind or something he hadn't heard of before, said chipperly again. Xander finally got enough brain-cells together to use his hands to put pressure on the wound. There was a large part of him that wanted to rip the vampire's head off but Joann's life was more important than revenge. Momentarily releasing her neck, Xander took off his shirt and pressed it to the wound, ignoring his wet sticky hands.

"You are too cute, trying to save her," Xander only spared a moment to glare at the vampire before moving his attention back to stopping the bleeding. He moved his left hand to the other side of her neck to feel her pulse. It was weak, and thready. She needed immediate attention if she was going to get better.

" Buffy!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, hoping that Buffy was close enough to hear him, even though Buffy was probably miles away, or should be at this point in the night if everything had gone to plan on her end.

"You can stop that. " The vampire said, his voice ringing with laughter like he thought anything about this situation was hilarious. "She's a goner. " He added and Xander ignored him only focusing on Joann. She couldn't die. She was a slayer. She had slayer healing. She had to be okay.

She couldn't be-"

"I don't want to get clingy, but I feel like you're not paying any attention to me. I spent years all alone. Is it too much to ask for to have a little conversation?" The vampire said sounding like he thought Xander was the one being rude. Xander didn't grant him a response, just kept his hands on her wound.

She had to be okay. She just had to be okay. She was a slayer. She was Joanne. She was strong and she would fight. She had to fight. He couldn't lose her. Not again. He couldn't lose someone he cared about like this again. She needed medical help and Buffy was too far away. The closest hospital was 5 miles away and Xander was pretty sure that he couldn't move her and keep pressure on the wound at the same time. Willow was in the city, probably unaware that anything was happening. He could really use Willow right now.

"Please, please don't die," Xander whispered, his voice breaking in the middle. The vamp was suddenly closer to them, just squatting at eye level on the other side of her body, smiling again making his stomach churn because there was still blood in his teeth. Joanne's blood.

"Oh, she's going to die. I'm surprised she hasn't died yet."The vampire though, he looked normal now like a human except for the blood around his mouth, tilted his head slightly as he looked down at her "She looks a bit like my sister," he said it like it was just an interesting tidbit. Even though the vampires' blasé attitude bothered him, Xander did his best to ignore it. This wasn't the first time he had dealt with someone who didn't care at all about who they hurt.

"Hang on, just hang on," he begged her. Joanne didn't respond but when Xander felt for a pulse she still had one. She was probably in shock from the lack of blood. If Xander wasn't the wrong blood type, he would be scrounging to see if he could find anything for a blood transfusion, not that he had anything anyways.

"Her blood is so goood!" The vampire said drawing out the o."I don't know if it's just been a long time since I had any, or if this universe just has better blood?" Xander's attention turned to the vamp for a second before turning back to Joanne. Was the vamp trying to make him mad? If so it was working but he wasn't going to leave Joanne. The second part though confused him. This universe? Was the vamp not originally from this universe?

"Okay, I'm bored now," The vamp said and nodded his head. Xander tensed as he expected the vampire to attack him but he simply looked at him in the eyes. "You can keep putting pressure on it if you want but you are going to pay attention and talk to me." The vamp said and Xander inwardly scoffed. There was no way he was going to ignore Joanne when she needed him the most. Only, he found himself unable to look back at Joanne. The vampire smiled a broad psychopathic smile like he knew what was going through his mind.

"I don't think I got to use that one before I died. It's kind of fun." The vampire said with a little giggle like an excited kid. What was the vamp talking about? Died? Back when he was human? Except humans couldn't do what he was doing. Was it like Dracula? The ability to put you under his thrall. Only his eyes didn't look like Dracula's, though he looked closer to Dracula than regular vamps.

"Now you had a stake, so I assume you're somewhat familiar with vampires. Am I right?" Xander forgot about the stake, he must have lost it when he hit the tree. Xander found his mouth opening to respond.

"Yes, I grew up on a Hellmouth. I've fought vampires since I was 15." The vamp looked fascinated.

"Hellmouth, that sounds fun. What's a Hellmouth?" The vamp curiously asked, his face moving slightly closer to Xanders.

"A center of mystical convergences, where a bunch of supernatural creatures come and try to open it and bring hell on earth, pretty much." Xander said.

"Well that does sound like fun, and where would I find one of these?"

"We're in Cleveland. It's a Hellmouth." The vamp nodded with a wide smile.

"That's probably how I ended up here, I was aiming for Mystic Falls." The vamp sat down on the park ground like Xander was telling him a fascinating story.

"So tell me, if you're well-acquainted with vampires, why did you look so...startled when you saw me?" The vamp asked while off and on tapping his hands against his lap, which is when Xander noticed he was wearing jeans.

"Because I've never seen a vampire like you before." Xander tried to fight it this time but couldn't, just like with Dracula. He could feel his fingers touching Joanne's neck but couldn't move his own to look at her to see how she was doing.

"It really is a different universe isn't it?" The vamp looked contemplative. "You know, I didn't have much time to learn about this. I mean I was killed. I mean only a few hours after I was made one, but I think I can get the hang of it. I could tell it wasn't my universe when I got here. I don't know how, but I can tell but there's something different. I don't know if it's in the wind or in the magic but I knew, it's not mine."

" Which sucks, because I really wanted to kill my little nieces and hunt down Bonnie again," The vamp said like it was a huge inconvenience. Xander already knew this vamp was a psychopath but that just cemented it further. While he didn't know who this Bonnie was, anyone who wanted to kill their family members, especially young ones was just- bad. The vampire continued,

"But I don't know, maybe this is better? Because obviously you know about vampires but you don't know about me. So your world has probably never seen a Heretic before." The vamp smiled widely while Xander wondered what a Heretic was, because he probably wasn't using it in the general way," Huh, that's neat. I'm one of a kind. Awesome!" he said, sounding more like a college student who had just won beer pong. The vamp really was a psycho. The vamp slapped the side of his head lightly.

"Manners, hi I'm Kai," The vamp said with a wave of his hand like this was a casual meeting at the local shop and Kai hadn't just attacked his girlfriend. "I'd shake your hand but well, they're full of blood and I've just ate," Kai frowned, "Though I have been desiccating for a while and I'm still kinda hungry." Kai's eyes turned red and black again and got closer to Xander's face for a second before fading back into normal human-looking eyes.

"But we've just met and that would be rude." The vampire named Kai said settling back down again. " Besides, I need to know more about the world I'm going to be living in. Don't want to be caught unaware." Kai said, shaking his hand and finger as he spoke the last sentence then the vampire gestured to Joanne, the vamp's eyes following it .

"Like what is she? She should be dead by now," Kai said with confusion and interest in his eyes. "There is fighting and there's something else, this is something else." Joanne was still alive? Xander hadn't been able to feel her pulse or even look down at her, all he could do was keep pressure on the wound. He felt hope rise up. Joanne had slayer healing, if she could just survive long enough for her slayer healing to heal the worst of it she could survive this.

"Don't get me wrong, she's still going to die. I can hear her pulse. It's getting weaker, slowly but still weaker." Kai had to be wrong. Joanne was strong. She was his strength, he couldn't imagine losing her.

"How rude, you didn't answer. I said, what is she?" Kai asked again any hint of a smile fading from his face.

"She's a slayer." Xander realized that he hadn't answered the first time, hadn't had to answer. What made this time different?

"What is a slayer?" Kai asked. What was different this time. Kai's eyes, he had looked away briefly while he had asked him the first time. Whatever the vampire was doing, must have something to do with maintaining eye contact.

"It used to be one girl in all the world, who stood against evil and the forces of darkness to protect everybody." Xander's body spoke even as he struggled inwardly against it. The last thing he wanted to do was tell Kai about slayers and potentially put them in danger. At least he managed to only directly answer questions rather than offer more information.

"And now?" Of course, since Kai kept asking questions it wasn't doing him all that good.

"There's more."

"How many more?"

"Last count 236 in the world." Kai's face was blank of any emotion that he could detect, not that even if it did have an expression, Xander could pretend to understand the psychopathic vampire any better.

"I imagine if I met them they'd want to kill me, those goody-two-shoes types usually do," Kai said, still completely void of emotion. "Hmm." Kai was now looking contemplative again which was slightly less creepy and at least masked the monster inside, but more importantly, the vampire was also looking down.

Xander knew it was just a theory but it might be his only chance, he couldn't help Joanne by just sitting there. He needed to do something, to bring the cavalry, and the only way to do that was to get rid of Kai. Joanne's abandoned stake was closer than his own and his best chance. He threw his body up and away from Kai and toward the stake and as soon as he got it in his hand, he swirled around only to Kai right in front of him smiling and shaking his head. Xander ducked his head immediately avoiding eye contact.

"Guess, I haven't quite gotten the hang of compulsion yet. I am pretty new at it." he heard Kai say. He tried to go towards the sound of Kai's voice without actually looking at him but it was really hard. So he tried to look only at the vampire's chest which worked better, except that Kai kept moving trying to catch his eye.

"I have more questions!" Kai said, sounding annoyed after Xander kicked him hard in the chest. Still, Kai didn't seem to consider him much of a threat; he was mostly smiling and seemed to be enjoying their little nearly one-sided fight.

Xander's eye darted to Joanne. He had to end this soon, one way or another or Joanne was going to die without anyone to keep pressure on her neck. He couldn't just keep dancing around trying to find an opening, he had to do something now or give up on doing anything at all. His eye darted around looking at his surroundings. They were in a park but there were enough trees in the section, it resembled a forest. The moon was near full giving him a pretty good view.

Xander took stock of his inventory. A stake in hand that he was having trouble actually using on the vampire since he moved so fast, much faster than the normal vampires. Every time he approached him, Kai either hit him or just moved back at his inhumanly fast speed, seeming to enjoy it.

Other than that, he had his wallet which wasn't going to do anyone, any good. But Joanne? Maybe she had something on her she hadn't been able to get to in time, or maybe not knowing what he was, had underestimated Kai? He ducked low and dashed to Joanne again, squatting down and used his other hand not holding the stake to see if he could find anything. Most of her pockets were empty but his left hand curled around something hanging from her jacket and pulled it out.

It was a gun. It probably wouldn't kill him, unless whatever being a Heretic meant that Kai was vulnerable to bullets but being shot, even as a vampire, hurt like hell so maybe he could incapacitate him enough to stake him.

Xander didn't think, just brought it up and around at the approaching Kai's heart. A shot fired..and landed 4 inches to the left of Kai's heart. Kai glanced down at the hole in his chest, not seeming all that bothered by it.

"You wound me," Kai smiled, "literally you wound me," Kai laughed at his own joke but made no move to remove it. Xander didn't know about guns, didn't even know why Joanne had one other than her childhood had been rough and maybe it gave her an extra sense of protection. Anyways, aiming for the chest had been the wrong move. He was just used to aiming for the heart because of normal vamps. Aiming for the head, had to at least slow him down, maybe even knock him out.

Guns were a mystery to Xander having more often used the medieval weapons, so he didn't know how many bullets he had left before he was out. But he did know that with as fast as Kai moved, the best thing probably to do was to shoot them all in sequence and hope one of them got him in the head.

"You got a gun, huh?" Kai said like he was struggling with being annoyed and amused at the same time. Xander took aim and fired. The first one nearly clipped him but Kai didn't look mad, he just smiled and said "Invisaque." Kai was suddenly gone from view as Xander fired another three shots before his brain registered that Kai was suddenly gone and stopped.

What the hell?! How was Kai just gone? It looked and sounded like magic but that was impossible. Kai reappeared but Xander couldn't focus and fired one that went wide by several feet. If he had magic and was a vampire..how could that be? How could he do anything?

"What kind of abomination are you?" It was like it was a vampire and a witch but you couldn't be a vampire and a witch. Could you? He had never heard of someone being both.

He glanced down at Joanne, who was even paler. He couldn't waste any more time trying to fight Kai, not when Joanne was bleeding out, not when he could….do that.

Xander threw the gun to the side and hurriedly put pressure on her neck again. She was still warm, which was something but who knew if she was alive. He had only wasted time and hadn't even gotten her out of there, he probably decreased what little time she had left trying. Maybe Buffy would have found them if he had just waited patiently. Of course, there was still the problem with Kai still being there..and his other abilities.

Kai, Kai wasn't speaking. Kai who loved to hear the sound of his own voice wasn't speaking. Wasn't gloating about Xander giving up and returning exactly the same position he was in before. Xander looked up at Kai who was looking down at his chest so Xander did as well. There was a hole in his black shirt Kai was wearing and he was ripping the shirt so the hole was bigger and easier to see. The hole revealed a bullet hole underneath. The hole was imperfect but round and red... or wait, it had been red a few seconds ago. It seemed like it was turning black. Bruising? Not generally that dark. Kai brought his eyes up to meet his, his eyes cold and hard again.

"I really don't like being called an abomination. You should ask my family about that." he had screwed up. He wasn't sure how but he could feel that he screwed up majorly and hit a nerve. As psychopathic as Kai had been up to this point, Xander had a feeling that he somehow made it personal. Kai nodded at him.

"Stay there, don't move," Xander wasn't planning to but he was pretty sure now that he had no choice in the matter. Kai got closer to him, eyes boring into his skull and smiled but any hint of friendliness, faux or otherwise, was gone from his face. He was pretty sure that this is what Jason's face looked like without the hockey mask, right before he was going to kill someone. Kai's eyes lowered to his chest again and Xander's followed.

The bullet...the bullet was working its way out of the skin. Vampires healed fast but this kind of healing, this fast. It was insane. What was he? What was a heretic? Kai caught his eye and grinned even more. Although he did grimace when he pulled the bullet the rest of the way out, so he was apparently not completely immune to pain. Which, while useful to know, didn't change the fact that he was near impervious. How could you kill him? Traps and ambush, those were the only possible ways he could think of and he couldn't do either of those now Kai gestured down to Joanne again.

"She's still alive, even after all that. Slayers must have a whole lot of…" he grunted and moved his hands and pelvis back the faux friendliness back again. "Something special going on. I really am going to have to watch out for them. But you?" Xander winced sure that Kai was about to bite him with the look in his eyes.

"You like her don'tcha you? You guys have a thing going on?" he said a waggle of his shoulders and eyebrows. Xander was confused about the change in topic, he had been sure he was about to be eviscerated, not that he minded, not being eviscerated. He would prefer that for as long as possible.

"Answer me," Kai said seriously, dropping any levity.

"She's my girlfriend. I love her." Xander said honestly, though he didn't have any choice otherwise. He hadn't told her yet. Every time he loved anyone, things got more complicated and they got hurt. Before Joanne, he had decided it was better to be alone but Joanne had crept up on him. Kai smiled but not like he cared that he loved her or thought it was sweet, more like an evil idea had popped into his evil little head.

"Where's the nearest hospital?" Xander can't have heard that right, he thought even as his mouth spilled where it was. Blood. He reminded himself hospitals carried blood, that's probably what he was after. After all, what else would an evil bloodsucker want?

"Stay in place until I get back. Be back in a jiff," he added with a wave of his hand then sped off into the park. No wonder Xander had such a hard time hitting him. Whatever a heretic was, could move fast and The Scooby lost sight of him in seconds. He immediately put his hand on the other side of her throat. Kai had told him to stay in place but he didn't have to stay completely still apparently. The platinum blonde slayer must really be fighting, especially with all the blood that had gushed it's way through her shirt and onto her dark green jacket.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I left you. I was trying to get us out of here but I never should have left you." He had no idea if she could hear him and even less of an idea if she would forgive him. He should have stayed with her and waited until Kai got bored. Except, Kai was the kind of person who looked like he liked to kill when he got bored. His fingers brushed her blond hair back, so that it wasn't getting entangled in either the wet blood or the drying blood. He felt tears leaking from his eyes as he touched her face gingerly. It was clammy and quite cold. He was going to have to watch her die. Maybe that's what Kia's punishment was? Making him watch Joanne die and be able to do nothing about it. Her pulse was getting slower and he couldn't help the hiccuping sobs, as he tried to keep pressure on the wound and berated himself for leaving.

"Look like I got here just in time." Xander jumped as he realized that Kai was back with an IV bag? Not blood bags? Why would Kai have an IV bag? Unless maybe Kai wasn't as bad as he seemed? Maybe his bark was worse than his bite? Maybe he wasn't actually a psychopath? Kai must have seen the look of hope in his eye because he immediately dashed it.

"Oh, this isn't a favor. This is poetry," he said as he pushed an IV into her Joanne's arm. "It's just going to take her longer to die this way. Long enough to give me what I want." Kai turned back to him.

"Now you were screaming for someone earlier. How many friends do you have around?"

"In the park, just Buffy and 3 slayers in training." Xander hated that apparently he decided to give Kai, Buffy's name.

"Outside the park?"

"In Cleveland, 93 slayers."

"And _witches_?" Kai seemed to have a particular hatred of them if the way he said witches was any indication. Of course, if anyone could kick his ass it was Buffy and Willow, his two powerful best friends. They might have to if Kai was going to kill him like he seemed he was going to. He hoped they really beat his ass hard for him.

"There are a few."

"Here?" Kai said, sounding annoyed and somewhat frustrated at his vagueness, which was really all he was able to control and only sometimes.

"There are six in Cleveland,"

"And in the world? Specifically?"

"That I know of 45," Xander answered though he didn't know much about witches. That was Willow's territory and he was happy to leave it to her since he and magic did not get along.

"Okay," Kai said with a smile. "Now how are vampires made here?"

"You would have to bite me and I would have to bite you." Kai's smile grew and he laughed.

"Is that how it works? Interesting." Before Xander could register it, Kai was directly in front of him.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt much until you wake up," Kai said, looking into his eyes before an unknown sound hit the air and then something was shoved into his mouth that tasted coppery and his head was tilted. What the hell? Was that Kai's blood? Why would Kai give him his blood? Strangely enough, the vague pain in his back he had been feeling but ignoring because there were more important things at stake, suddenly went away.

No! Xander's eye widened as he realized the last thing they had been talking about. He tried to spit it out but realized he must have already swallowed most of it somehow. No! No! No! He did not want to be a vampire. Did not want to become like the thing he had fought against his whole life. The things that had stolen people that he cared about from him. Kai suddenly had his hands on his shoulders, his blue eyes boring into his own. The intensity in Kai's eyes was startling and he had a feeling his time alive...or at least as a human was ending.

"Now where I come from there's a different way. You won't become a heretic, you're not a siphon," he shook his head, "but you will become a vampire….I think." he looked unsure for a moment before continuing, gesturing towards Joanne. "I bought her some time. You should wake up before she dies. She should just have enough blood left. Maybe I'll see you around? Maybe not? Sweet dreams." He felt a sharp pain in his neck and knew no more.

* * *

Xander jolted up from his surprisingly hard bed. He hadn't fallen out of bed again had he? Only no, it was a wooded area. It must be a heavily populated wooded area because all the animals were so loud. Every squirrel, every owl hoot seemed like they were using a megaphone. His tired brain struggled with figure out why he was a wooded area all alone-

He wasn't alone, he realized with a start as his eye settled on Joanne. Some color had returned to her cheeks but she was still very pale. The sun was just barely peeking over the horizon, it was probably around 5 or 8 6n the morning. He knew from all the all-nighters around apocalypse time that he tended to do. Last night rushed into his mind. The creep. Kai, where was he? His eye darted around looking for that psychopath but kept coming up empty. Maybe he was actually legitimately gone?

Xander tentatively crawled towards Joanne on the wet grass, that smelled surprisingly stronger than he remembered it being last night. He wasn't far but he was afraid that if he moved too much Kai would come back. Apparently the compulsion, he was pretty sure Kai had called it that, had worn off because now he could move and in a few seconds made it over to Joanne. He had thought that they were both goners. But here they were alive? Wait, no. The last bit of his memory from last night filtered in. He froze mid-reach toward Joanne. No. No. No. He couldn't be. He couldn't be.

Unfortunately, he was within inches of Joanne and the next breath he took in was filled with a coppery smell that somehow activated his saliva glands. It smelled good, like food. No. No. No. No. Only it smelt so good. Like intoxicatingly good. Like baking cookies and a bbq, all rolled into one. He found himself nearing the source and staring at her neck that was no longer bleeding but still open. He needed to get her- the blood was so sweet and intoxicating and so inviting.

Maybe if he just had a taste of the dried blood that would be enough? Just a taste to get the impulse , the raw humming desire to leave. He was so hungry. So very hungry. Maybe just the smallest taste would be enough to get it under control. Just a tiny little taste. He stuck his tongue out. He was so hungry. It smelt so good, like movie theatre popcorn and nice fresh cinnamon buns. Just a tiny taste.

When he made contact, it didn't taste like any food he knew. It tasted coppery and warm but suddenly coppery and warm was the best taste. Far better than any of the others. He had to have more. He felt something pop out in his mouth but he paid it no attention, he had to have more. He was so hungry. So, so hungry. It tasted so, so good, he had to have more and more.

Suddenly there wasn't any more to drink and Xander came back to himself and realized his fangs, because apparently he had fangs, were inside of Joanne. He quickly retracted them.

"No. No. No," he said aloud. "No, no, no." This couldn't be happening. He didn't do this. He didn't want to...he didn't mean to. Maybe it wasn't what he thought, maybe he could save her. He backed away enough so that he could see her. The first thing he noticed was that Joanne's skin was completely pale. Any color it had gained or even had last night was completely gone. The second was her green eyes that were open and unseeing.

She was dead. Completely dead. He had killed her. He had loved her and he had killed her. Tears fell down his face but he didn't see them, didn't feel them and he was okay with that because he didn't want to feel anything anymore. He didn't want to be anymore. He wanted to die. He wanted to cease to exist. He wanted to fall into oblivion and everything all once. He didn't want to feel...and somewhere deep inside himself found that he didn't have to.


	2. Chapter 2

"What is it? Buffy asked unknowingly echoing a previous conversation that happened not too long ago.

"It looks like a vampire," Willow said, but was also perplexed because it didn't look like a vampire, not really. The whole eye thing was very different from the vampires they knew, plus they seemed to be much faster, if him trying to get away before Willow had to use magic to make him fall asleep was any indication.

"But it can't be a vampire," Buffy said, looking closely at the person through the clear glass wall between them. Willow had lifted the sleeping spell just a few minutes ago Willow had cast when she had found him, though it was taking a little bit of time for him to actually wake up.

She still didn't understand what happened. Xander and Joanne had decided to take the west end of the park. Which was code for making out or worse and everyone knew it. They weren't- hadn't been as much of a secret as they seemed to think that they were.

Buffy and Xander were supposed to reunite at 12:30 in the morning but Xander hadn't shown up. So, of course, Buffy had searched the area and then searched it again and found nothing both times. After coming up empty twice, she called Willow who did a location spell that said that they had to still be in the park. This was impossible because Buffy and all the potentials as well as the two closest groups had also combed over every inch of it looking for the two. Willow had actually come out to the park to see if it was witch-related and the whole group had come upon a scene that honestly, Willow wanted to forget.

Joanne. She was one of the older slayers, only a few years younger than Xander. And Xander...Poor Joanne's throat brutally eviscerated and Xander's mouth had been lined in blood with more blood dripping down his face onto his own neck, looking like he was about to leave the scene of the crime and didn't care. Xander had been fast, faster than most beings they had come across but she had been quick enough to put him to sleep before he could getaway. Leading them to here. Xander was the currently sleeping occupant in the room they were in front of. The one they were trying to figure out. How had it happened? How Xander could change into a vampire-like creature, especially one she had never seen before, who could do that to his girlfriend. No one knew.

They had made the room, which was really a cage, just for him. They had designed his cage well, considering they were not the carpenters. It was a simple design: a small room with a small cot and a toilet that resembled a prison cell, surrounded by a larger one. One of the walls was a clear glass looking wall that faced them that they were using to view him.

"We need to talk about it," Buffy said though didn't face her, instead, she faced the wall. Willow nodded biting her lip, she knew that they needed to but also didn't want to but they had to know what they were doing.

"Is there any way we can get his soul back?" Buffy asked. The first one to bring it up but not the first one to think of it. Willow knew that she had been thinking about it ever since Xander had been brought in and they had quickly built the room around him.

"I don't even know what he is. I mean vampire, yes. But no kind I have ever seen or even heard of before. We don't know if the reensoulment ritual for normal vampires would work? Or if it would do nothing." Willow rambled, not really saying anything aloud that the two of them hadn't been thinking about.

"I think the more important question isn't if we can, It's should we try?" Buffy said hesitantly and regretfully.

"Of course we should try!" Willow fired back. If there was a chance to get Xander back, no matter how small, they had to try. They had had to see if they could get him back, even if he was more broody than normal.

"He killed Joanne," Buffy said, looking at the still sleeping body.

"We've done it for vampires who have killed more people." Willow countered sharply. How could Buffy be doubting getting Xander back? Even if he was a vampire? Especially when Buffy had done it for Angel.

"That's not what I meant," Buffy said looking away from the glass wall to glare at her. " I meant, he loved her, or really liked her but I don't think," she shook her head, " even if we could get Xander back he would react well to that."

"Oh," Willow said, then deflated. She hadn't thought about that. All she had thought about was getting Xander back no matter what. "Sorry," she whispered quietly. The last thing they needed was to be fighting each other. Buffy cared about Xander too. She knew that she just had this fiercely protective bond with him, that she sometimes snapped at Buffy, forgetting for a few moments that Buffy cared just as much about him. It had been really awful of her to bring up the Angel thing, when Buffy was just thinking about Xander's mental state even if they did fix him.

She was about to apologize again when the figure on the floor started to move.

"He's waking up," Buffy said slightly more guarded than before and Willow nodded also putting on a bit of emotional armor. Angel without his soul had been cruel, especially to Buff. There was no reason to suspect that Xander wouldn't be as well.

.

The first thing 'Xander' did was look at his cage. Probably noticing the wide glass wall between them. What he didn't know was that the glass was soundproof and bulletproof. Unless they were holding the button for the microphone, they could scream at the wall and he wouldn't be able to hear them.

"Let me explain," Buffy said and Willow didn't disagree. Buffy was easily the most intimating, most of the time between the two of them... unless magic was involved. She walked over and held the button.

"Do you remember who I am?" Buffy asked showing, no emotion, like this was something the two of them did all the time.

"Buffy the vampire slayer," Buffy nodded and Willow didn't know how to feel. Usually, amnesia wasn't really part of being a vampire but the fact that he had knowingly done what he had done to Joanne, it made her feel more than a little nauseous. Especially his lack of emotions like he knew who she was he just didn't care.

"Well, I'm here to tell you about your cage." Buffy pointed to the metal ceiling panels. "Those panels move. If you're good, we let you out to walk around a little, if not you stay in the small cell." She pointed in the direction of the cell. The cell had cameras too so they could keep an eye on him wherever he went. "The panels on the walls can move as well but the most interesting piece is the wall between us. It's bulletproof and also electrified, so I wouldn't touch it, because if you do, you fry. It might not kill you but I assure you it will hurt like hell." Buffy said with far more stoniness and bravado than Willow was sure she could manage, even if she was angry at the monster wearing her best friend's face. The only thing she could see while looking at his face was Xander.

Buffy turned off the speaker and turned around so that her back was to the wall and Willow followed suit. Xander couldn't read lips before but they had no idea what he was now and they weren't going to potentially hand him any information he could use to his advantage.

"We have to try don't we?" Willow said, continuing their interrupted conversation. "We have to try to fix him. If there's a chance, we have to try." They couldn't just abandon their best friend without trying first. If Xander struggled after he got his soul back, then they would help him, but they had to try didn't they? Buffy didn't say anything for or against, she just looked distressed.

"We're agreed then? We try to fix him?" Willow pressed needing a verbal agreement, to know Buffy was with her that they would try to fix him.

"And if there's no way to fix him?" Buffy asked softly, like she was afraid to voice it. There had to be a way to fix it, to fix him. There had to be. But if there wasn't then there was only one option, this prison wouldn't work in the long run.

"We kill him," The words felt like lead on her tongue.

"It's what he would want us to do," Buffy agreed and Willow nodded hoping it wouldn't come to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I can't decide if it's better or worse with this part in it. So I'm adding it as a possible ending and leaving it up to you if you want it to end this way or go with the first one.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a short sequel/alt ending.


End file.
